![]() Introduction: “I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” Pablo Neruda Photography by Diana Mary Sharpton titled "Intricacy" It has been a minute sense we first met and we both know there was an instant connection. An impression that over time has developed into a unique understanding of who you are, especially in terms of the inter connectivity between the two of us. It was the attitude of aloofness that intrigued me and yes there was that sexier than hell element to it, I must admit, that helped a lot. You are one sexy man for sure! Anyway, not to regress, little did you know I could hear what you were thinking “What’s’ this girl going to know about me” with a chuckle. So at that moment, the story began. You set forth a challenge and I took it on. At first impression there was the masculinity that intoxicated me. It rushed through this body like a bolt of lightning; awaking the dead and dying. It hit and knocked me to my knees. I had never met a man like you. Don’t get me wrong, I have met men that are masculine but none had your particular aspects, artistic sensitivity, or passion for what you believe in. A maleness that in my opinion is rare or at least one that certainly attracts me. I saw that you roamed about this life untangle and never understood why… now I do. When you read my words below, please understand that first and foremost you are my dearest friend, secondly, I love you with all the imperfections and broken pieces (I do not give a shit what other people think) and third I am in love with that brilliance and wonderfulness that you cannot see. Through research, a sense of an exterior and interior persona developed, a paradox so to speak, like a “Ying and a Yang” and maybe that is how you see yourself as well, I am not sure; but with complexity, absolutely. Simmone Kou once said “The circle that represents the whole is divided into Yin (black) and Yang (white) halves--two polar complements in harmonious balance. The two smaller circles in the centers (the eyes), shaded in the opposite color, illustrate that within Yin there is Yang, and vice versa. Yin and Yang contain within themselves, at their very centers, the seeds of change. The curve dividing them indicates that this change is dynamic and continuous. Each half invades the other half and establishes itself in the center of its opposite.” An intricacy with many dimensions, that is you. The person I first got to know is one of strength, patriotism (i.e. the kind my daddy had), individualistic (there is nothing about you which resembles any other person on this earth, trust me and that is a good thing), rustic, a natural born leader, suborn, down to the very drops of blood that flow in your veins. When you love and touch, it is with passion and gentleness, you know how to please a woman. Gifted with the sight of beauty and the skill to capture it, I would speculate that the depths of your abilities have not been given a chance. Resourceful and a seeker, like no other man I know have ever known. In particular, I love this the most about you! You will succeed, be patient, dear friend and don’t lose yourself in the process. This is the person, I believe in, this is the person you will ultimately embrace one hundred percent and sore to the heavens in your dreams and new beginnings. I believe in you. In your writings, there is an admission of darkness and light, within the relationships and events that have touched you. You speak about the battles within your life and soul with real disillusionment, hopelessness, despair, depression and ultimate loss. A tone where the acceptance of death would release you from all this moral decay and treachery. “I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real.” ~ Oscar Wilde. Let me clarify, I am not a Physiatrist or Phycologist just an observer, that loves you, so I will also add the word blame. I see this complexity from a different angle, maybe off track, to you and certainly only my notion; however I will share it in honestly and love as it should be received. Sometimes it is good to hear what others think, it gives you a fresh perspective. In the beginning, I secretly fell into your soul as you into mine and could tell that you were wearing the pain of loss, rejection or violence from a deep wound such as I. One not shared or maybe never admitted, in the context of its true reality. As a subsequence, you have lived a life of emotional conflict, a battle in wanting to be loved, revered, successful and, needing to be loved, important, respected and from time to time reaching out for these very things; however at the same time you didn’t trust the safety of those emotions and/or actions, the effect on your self-image was devastating and ultimately everytime you would withdraw. You needed to be able to trust someone with this pain and know they would never abandon you, accepting how you see yourself and feeling safe that this relationship and the knowledge bestowed would not change anything. That said, time and time again, disaster after disaster, opinion over time formed that it is easier and safer to not love, not dream, too not risk anything, just to live barely. Dearest friend, my advice is the same you gave me, quietly in whispers, understand the wound, release yourself from it, forgive yourself, and tell the person you truly love and trust, the truth as it appears to you. At that moment you will forgive and stop blaming yourself, this will bestow the power within yourself to heal because in changing the cycles, we can move forward in the direction of living, healing and risk happiness and joy. It is acceptance and love for who you are not what other people think you should be that you want most… The first steps are the hardest and I encourage you to continue fighting. Do not run way from emotion... and you will always be loved and respected by me and… It is love that I am feeling for you, Sugar.... "Is This Love" I wanna love you and treat you right I wanna love you every day and every night We'll be together with a roof right over our heads We'll share the shelter of my single bed We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread Is this love - is this love - is this love Is this love that I'm feelin'? Is this love - is this love - is this love Is this love that I'm feelin'? I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now! I got to know - got to know - got to know now! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able, So I throw my cards on your table! I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right I wanna love you every day and every night We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread Is this love - is this love - is this love Is this love that I'm feelin'? Is this love - is this love - is this love Is this love that I'm feelin'? Wo-o-o-oah! Oh yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now! Oh yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able So I throw my cards on your table! See: I wanna love ya, I wanna love and treat ya love and treat ya right I wanna love you every day and every night We'll be together, with a roof right over our heads! We'll share the shelter of my single bed We'll share the same room, yeah! Jah provide the bread We'll share the shelter of my single bed - [fadeout] References: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bobmarley/isthislove.html Diana Mary Sharpton ~ Poetry & Photography ©All Rights Reserve 2017 Contact: DianaMSharpton@Gmail.com
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AuthorDiana Mary Sharpton Archives
November 2020
Diana Mary Sharpton“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” Categories
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