“While analogies are useful, however, they can also be misleading. They smuggle in assumptions that can be wrong.” ~ Michael Mandelbaum
On a Personal note:
Victims of violence typically feel it is their fault and are full of shame. This impediment can last a lifetime. I want to thank my son for taking my hand, pulling me up from the floor and walking with me until I could walk on my own. This is love!
Mari ~Part I~
A discolored trickle of water ran down her leg, oblivious she continued bathing in this natural spring surrounded by bamboo and ferns. It was a favorite place secluded from the world and she loved the feeling of deliciously cool water against the nakedness of her maturing body; puberty was secretly taking control.
Her mind was intent and in a slight hurry, full of fantasies of a young preteen. Yet, the minnows kept biting fiercely at her legs, distracting her thoughts. It wasn’t the normal nibble. She reached into the water to scare the tiny fish away a couple of times, to no avail. “What’s wrong with these fish, today?” thinking to herself, leaving the warmth of her fantasies for a second or two to deal with the agitation. Frustrated and in a hurry, she leaves the pool and commences to put on her clothing and notices, her underwear stained in blood.
Oh My God! Her mind starts to scream, silently, heart pounding, blood is pumping rapidly and the temperature in her body began to climb rapidly “What is wrong with me?” Instantly, feeling guilty, frighten and dizzy all at once, she decided this was NOT information she could share with anyone. “It will go away!” thoughts bounced in comforting waves to a mind that had quickly sped out of control. In all this commotion, not once did the Marcella notice the young man, hidden in the brush, quietly watching her. Was he a predator or potential suitor?
Ale (nickname for Alejandro) had secretly watched her for some time, now. She always showed up in the early morning as the sun began to rise. He was intoxicated with the sight of this beautiful young girl with breasts emerging in natural points entering a spring layered in steam. He wanted to touch and caress her breasts. His body ached in pain with this yearning. He would fantasize, for hours, how they might feel, in his hands and her skin was a creamy olive tone, something he had never experienced before which added to his heightening allure. “How will I approach her?” “Can I approach her?” thoughts raced through his mind; however there was the small fact that he was much older than Mari (nickname for Marcella), probably by six years. There was a life time between his experience and her innocence in addition to a powerful father that owned everything in sight.
Mari, absorbed in realization that life as she knew it was changing, she ran on to the house leaving Ale in the brushes. Full of worry, she decided not to tell her mother. After all “Everything would change!” she thought to herself. She had heard her dad comment on various occasions, during suppertime, that she would have to have a chaperone when she became of age. “What did this mean, good grief what am I going to do?” She didn’t want her life to change; she wanted freedom to roam the countryside on her horse. So she kept silent and as days passed, the menses seemed to go away. To Mari, who was not aware of facts concerning her maturing body, this gave her instant relief and soon she was back to normal, and decided to bath again in her secret place.
The minnows were behaving this time and leaving her legs alone but she sensed danger. Her father had taught her this sixth sense, a critical aspect and awareness in dangerous surroundings such as these. So she quietly listened, to the light breeze, rustling bamboo leaves and a constant hum from running water, analyzing each sound carefully, nothing. Mari was a patient young woman and waited for a long time, listening, not moving, after about ten minutes she began to relaxed and enjoy the bath; however vigilant at the same time. Suddenly there was a “Crack”, a twig snapped, by force! She became freighted, heart rate spiked, this sound was not natural, she had to get out of there and fast. Quickly dressing, she runs up the path towards the house. She looked back a couple of times but nothing. The whole incident left her shaken and out of balance.
Ale was angry with himself for not being more careful with his footing and kept thinking “See this is what happens when you don’t stick to the plan!” Ale wanted to seduce Mari, she was a virgin, a budding innocent flower that he had to possess and touch. He also realized that she would not come back to the bath anytime soon. He was going to have to approach her in a different setting. So, he would watch her in silence as she went through her day. Up at seven a.m. for an early morning ride, nowhere in particular it seemed, she just loved to gallop across the country side. In the afternoons, she would take her pet goats out to the pasture, sitting and watching them graze. So on that day, Ale decided to walk up to her and ask her about her goats. “Good morning Mari, my name is Alejandro and I noticed your fine goats” “Would you be interested in selling the reddish one?
Slightly startled and leery, Mari received the stranger in a polite, yet contrite manner. “Nice to meet you, Alejandro, but these goats are my pets and are not for sale”.
Ale immediately saw an opportunity and asked “May I sit with you for a little while and talk?” Mari never had been approached by a young man’s attention. Something was happening, it’s like her body’s temperature started to rise, her head was pounding, and she could feel the importance of being cautious slowly waning from her mind.
Mari wanted to talk to him too and said “Sure”. They spoke for hours and he maintained a respectful distance by late afternoon.
When it was time for her to leave he said “May I see you again?”
Mari was intrigued and said “Yes”. These interludes went on for a week or so, as Ale slowly seduced Mari, first he brushed up on her and excused himself as they sat, closer and closer to each other, touching her hands, hair and arms. Mari, unknowing would explode in emotional desire with each contact. Feelings that were exhilarating and new, she wanted more of whatever Ale was trying to do! She started looking forward to those afternoon encounters, sneaking away as much as possible just to talk to him. Finally, Ale got the courage and kissed Mari. A first kiss for her, emotions provoked that would be recalled over and over in infinite detail for the rest of her life. Mari was completely seduced; however her mother started becoming alarmed with her daughter’s erratic behavior.
Missing for hours at a time, her mother decided to call her aside and asked “What is going on with you, where have you been, Mari?”
“Nothing, Mama, I am fine, really”, “No Mari! Tell me the truth, now!” and so she did, everything from the arrival of her menses to the adventures with Ale. She told the truth and faced the consequences of her actions. Her mother in a high-pitched voice filled in pain and disappointment asked her "Mari, my dear sweet angel, did this man touch your private area?" “You must tell the truth because he had no right!”
Mari could no longer speak; it was the beginning of the end of a way of life as she knew it! Her father would be told and the pain of his letdown was devastating to young Mari. He was furious with this news; ordering a doctor to check her body in a personal and intrusive manner to ensure her hymen remained intact. Then she was ripped from her home, like a criminal, a shun to society and sent away to boarding school, the goats and horse were sold off and Ale, well he was lucky he didn’t shot or serve time!
Diana Mary Sharpton © 2015 ~ All Rights Reserved
1. Photography: http://thisgirlhasissues.deviantart.com/art/Teenage-Girl-Swimsuit-Stock-355877563
Diana Mary Sharpton ~ Poetry & Photography ©All Rights Reserve 2017 Contact: DianaMSharpton@Gmail.com
Diana Mary Sharpton
Diana Mary Sharpton
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”