“Things keep happening all around you. There is violence, there is gore, there are people who will use you and never look back to see what became of you, and worse, there are people who will break you into smithereens before they leave to make sure they don’t have to look back to see what became of you.” ― Heema Shirvaikar, Uff Ye Emotions 2.
Mari ~Part III
As a victim of a brutal assault, at a very young age, I wanted to speak out about this type of violence, its complex dimensions and how one can try to survive the shattered aftermath with a normal life. My personal struggle has been to believe in myself (this being the most difficult task beset me and the other is to admit it happened to me), being a victim is not your fault or embarrassing and an open, honest conversation concerning your traumatic event helps you and possibly others move forward in life. Don’t get lost in the brutality or its aftershock, a traumatized life is worth saving and you are loved by God. For it is in his infinite wisdom that our journey develops, matures and finally ends. It is what makes us special.
This is the last part of a short story about a fictional character by the name of Mari (a typical young Hispanic teen) who experiences the violence and guilt of rape. In part II, Mari never admits to the violence of rape out loud or even to herself because she feels guilty and ashamed, until now, and this is typical.
I appreciate your continued support of my work and hope you have a blessed and safe day.
On the fateful day, Mari woke in a brilliant mood “I am going riding to where the two rivers meet; Oh God! I love this place” and off she runs to the kitchen to eat breakfast with the family. Soon she will be riding with the wind in hair. She was excited yet still had a worry in the back of her head about Elizeo, the overseer, so she makes a final attempt to persuade her father in assigning chaperon duties to someone else “Papa can Manuel ride with me today? Please Papa, I don’t trust this man Elizeo, he looks at me with eyes like a hawk. He scares me.”
Mari’s mother immediately joins the conversation and in a stern tone she says “Mira hija! You need to stop all this nonsense, listen to your father and do not create so much scandal over nothing” “Go or don’t go dear, don’t worry your father any further about this matter”. The conversation came to a heavy end, breakfast was finish and Mari quietly excused herself walking to the patio where her black gelding stood saddled and the crazy man, Elizeo, was also waiting.
Mari was seventeen and Papa had promised her a “coming out” party, in August. A little late but oh Mari was excited. She would wear this beautiful white dress she had tried on. It made her feel like a princes and was made of Chantilly lace. It was form fitting and looked stunning on her beautiful young body “Oh my goodness! Is this really me? I look and feel so beautiful” as she gazes at her reflection in the mirror; still thinking “This will be a party of a lifetime. There will be respectable boys invited that my Papa approves. I am so happy to be home and forgiven”.
See, Mari is in love with love. She wants to meet that special young man, Papa talks about at the dinner table “Mari you will marry a good strong man that will always love and protect you my sweetness and light”. So, she joyfully daydreams and gets on the gelding. “Let’s go!” looking towards Elizeo with suspicion and they start the ride to where the two rivers meet. It is a mountainous track, about an hour or two on horseback. Mari never once spoke a single word to Elizeo during the whole journey; they just rode quietly.
Elizeo was in his late forties at best. He had worked for Mari’s Papa as an overseer for many years but was grotesquely unhappy with his station. He had been struggling for years to keep food on the table and every year or so there was another mouth to feed. He had started to fantasize about Mari, she was pure and beautiful and there was that hatred he had for the Patron. “He has everything, wealth, power, land and this beautiful daughter” obsessive thoughts keep coming forth as they ride quietly side by side. “I wonder what she would taste like” no one will ever know. She would never speak about it because it would ruin her reputation. So, slowly Elizeo begins to devise a plan on how he would have sex with Mari. It was the right opportunity after all. “I need to be patient and catch her off guard; I will take this lazo with me and tie her up, Ja Ja little spoil bitch she deserves everything she gets” and his thoughts excite and arouse him in a manner that is unspeakable.
Once they arrived, Mari hurries to tie the black gelding up to a tree and runs off to the water’s edge. She takes off her shoes and slides into the cool knee deep water “This is just amazing! I have missed home so much”. As she sits on a large rock facing the river a little sadness comes over her. “I wish I had never kissed Ale... I wish I could change the past” Mari reflects quietly unaware that Elizeo had crept up behind her. Instinct kicks in, Mari turn to face the danger and Elizeo is standing right behind her. “What do you want? You need to go back where the horses are tied up” Mari exclaims in alarm and in seconds Elizeo wraps her with his lazo. He ties her arms as she screams for help. He takes out his knife and cuts off her clothing and cutting into her skin; Mari is out of her mind in fear and pain screaming at the top of her lungs “He is going to kill me! This crazy man, Oh God! Please help me”. Elizeo viciously rapes Mari stripping her of her virginity, dignity and life; shattering her innocence with a brutality that haunts her for years. Mari struggles against the ropes because if she doesn’t somehow get free she knew her life would be taken right there on that sandy beach where the two rivers meet. By the hand of God, the ropes loosen and to stop Mari from screaming, Elizeo fatally places his hand on her mouth. Mari bits into his hand with all the life left in her body giving her seconds, she kicks him in the face and gets up running towards the horse, mounts and rides at a gallop pace home.
Upon her arrival, brutally raped, assaulted and half-naked, the seventeen year old, Mari, found her father, standing before him in agony and shame, screamed “And this was someone you trusted, Papa!” and he fell to the ground in tears and disgrace never uttering a word to console her. Mari didn’t get to attend her “coming out” party; she was sent away in order to silence the scandal that ensued and she also didn’t get to fall in love, with that respectable young man like the one in her dreams. Elizeo, well, he was arrested and put in prison but the damage was done.
It takes a life time to realize that pain from violence placed upon you was not your fault. Some days you can endure better than others but for me it is in the joy of life’s beautiful things that I get through most of this darkness. I have never once thought life was not worth living; I just could never understand why I was given so many thorns. Remember one thing and that is you can never know a person’s journey, or make unwarranted judgments on who they are, what they have endured and the most unselfish act we can give to one another is love and understanding. Love heals all wounds. I dedicate this piece to all people that suffer from pain of one kind or another.
Peace and Love Always Diana Mary Sharpton
Diana Mary Sharpton © 2014 ~ All Rights Reserved
1.) Photography: http://timesofap.com/politics/additional-secretary-raped-a-woman-in-nainital-.html
Diana Mary Sharpton ~ Poetry & Photography ©All Rights Reserve 2017 Contact: DianaMSharpton@Gmail.com
Diana Mary Sharpton
Diana Mary Sharpton
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”